Occupational therapy was probably the most frustrating rehab class for me. This "class," for lack of a better word, was designed to reteach us the basic life skills that were now much harder. It was in class that I practiced vacuuming, shopping, cooking, sweeping, GETTING DRESSED! That last one was probably the most frustrating thing of all. Most people take it for granted. Hold the pants out, step in to them one leg at a time, pull them up, button, go. What if you couldn't move your legs? What if you couldn't move your waist? What if you had to literally everything with your hands, arms, and shoulders.
I didn't actually master that skill until after I was home. Necessity is the mother of invention right? Well, the way that I figured out to do it was to do it lying down on the bed, sit up, and kind of pull my knees up into a jack-knifed position. Then, with my pants lying out on the bed, I place my feet into them and then pull the leg up over my knee. Then, I'm able to pull them all they way up. I generally have to roll from side to side a few times to make sure my underwear isn't all bunched up... I can't exactly feel that it's uncomfortable, but I remember that it should be, so I make sure they're not.
Wheelchair class... that was a blast. I'll be one of the first to say that today's world is not wheelchair friendly. At all. More than once I've needed to get into a store or down a step and I'm able to pop a wheel and go up or down the step. Basically, this class was intended to teach us how to cope with an unfriendly environment. What if we were on an upstairs level, by ourselves, and the elevator is out? I could get down. What if there are no power doors? I can open them. What if the terrain is uneven? I can navigate it.
The best part of that class, other than the wheelies, was Go Ball. It was a great game that inspired team work and was just plain fun. The idea was that we used a duct tape wrapped Nerf football and passed it to each team member before we could attempt to score. Scoring involved hitting a floor mat that had been attached to the wall. We weren't supposed to grab on to the chairs of the opposing team... but that really didn't stop us. We played some kind of game every Friday, it was almost always Go Ball.
Thursday, May 8, 2014
Monday, May 5, 2014
"You must unlearn what you have learned."
The doctors at Craig had several priorities. The first was stabilization of any injuries. My back was stabilized in Tulsa. Neck breaks are a much more difficult thing to stabilize, as the head is so necessary for most observation and movement. At first there was talk about putting me in a halo collar.
The idea of actually having screws in my head terrified me. Luckily, this wasn't necessary. Instead, I was able to wear the much more comfortable J-Collar.
This pretty effectively prevented me from moving my neck at all. There was another brace that I wore in the shower... I can't remember what it was called, but this one was pretty much my constant companion.
It made things difficult. There were a lot of things that were mandatory for release that I couldn't do until my neck was fully healed. I'll get to those at some point in the future.
Once my neck was stabilized I could resume the other rehabilitation exercises that dominated my days.
Once a week a tech came around and put a schedule on each of our walls. Rehab started early every day and went until late afternoon. Considering we were all broken and sick this really was army-like. We had physical therapy, occupational therapy, strength training, appointments with all kinds of doctors, alumni of Craig coming in to talk to us about life as paraplegics, wheelchair class, and others besides.
Physical therapy mostly had to do with making sure we could physically handle the changes that had happened. Our joints were stretched and tightened using range of motion exercises, we would practice transferring from the exercise mats back to our chairs, we even had to practice sitting up from a prone position. Everything was incredibly hard. I can remember being driven to the verge of tears every time I had to start relearning how to do something that had been so basic before.
Things got easier slowly. Since I was eating again, my strength and stamina both increased. In the beginning there were days that I could barely get out of bed or even sit up straight for more than ten minutes at a time. But they pushed us. They had to. There was never a day when we didn't see improvement.
-
The images were taken from http://orthotape.com/images/products/Default/neck/miamiJ_collar.JPG and http://www.spineuniverse.com/conditions/spinal-cord-injury/halo-brace-use-cervical-fractures respectively.
As always, please share this post with anyone you think would find it interesting. Please comment and ask questions if you have any!
The idea of actually having screws in my head terrified me. Luckily, this wasn't necessary. Instead, I was able to wear the much more comfortable J-Collar.
This pretty effectively prevented me from moving my neck at all. There was another brace that I wore in the shower... I can't remember what it was called, but this one was pretty much my constant companion.
It made things difficult. There were a lot of things that were mandatory for release that I couldn't do until my neck was fully healed. I'll get to those at some point in the future.
Once my neck was stabilized I could resume the other rehabilitation exercises that dominated my days.
Once a week a tech came around and put a schedule on each of our walls. Rehab started early every day and went until late afternoon. Considering we were all broken and sick this really was army-like. We had physical therapy, occupational therapy, strength training, appointments with all kinds of doctors, alumni of Craig coming in to talk to us about life as paraplegics, wheelchair class, and others besides.
Physical therapy mostly had to do with making sure we could physically handle the changes that had happened. Our joints were stretched and tightened using range of motion exercises, we would practice transferring from the exercise mats back to our chairs, we even had to practice sitting up from a prone position. Everything was incredibly hard. I can remember being driven to the verge of tears every time I had to start relearning how to do something that had been so basic before.
Things got easier slowly. Since I was eating again, my strength and stamina both increased. In the beginning there were days that I could barely get out of bed or even sit up straight for more than ten minutes at a time. But they pushed us. They had to. There was never a day when we didn't see improvement.
-
The images were taken from http://orthotape.com/images/products/Default/neck/miamiJ_collar.JPG and http://www.spineuniverse.com/conditions/spinal-cord-injury/halo-brace-use-cervical-fractures respectively.
As always, please share this post with anyone you think would find it interesting. Please comment and ask questions if you have any!
Saturday, May 3, 2014
"We've done the impossible, and that makes us mighty."
So I was hurt. I was hurt, my memory of the events was missing, and I had relocated to another state, another time zone.
All in all the experience was disorienting.
From the day I arrived at Craig my memories became much clearer. In order to make sure if my injury was complete or incomplete they had to test if I could feel all over my body. In order to do this, they touched a feather and poked a small needle literally all over my body. The result was that I couldn't feel the feather at all. But I could feel the needle... in places.
That was it. Just the tiniest pinprick. It was enough. It meant that my spinal cord was NOT severed. It meant that there was a chance I could walk.
Spinal cords are very VERY complicated. My injury was just a bruise, but spinal cords don't heal quickly, or even sometimes at all. The fact that I am not walking today means that my spinal cord is still bruised. There's a damaged portion that prevents all of the information from passing through my nerves.
Craig itself is divided into three floors. The first floor is all outpatient. The second is specifically closed-head injuries. The third is for spinal cord injuries. Even among those of us on the third floor there are two groups: Paraplegics and Quadriplegics.
Remember on my second post I said that I had broken my neck as well? Well that was discovered after I had another set of x-rays and the like once I got to Craig. Nurses and techs came rushing in while I was doing some preliminary physical therapy and told me to stop moving and lay perfectly still. Apparently it was a small miracle that I hadn't been more injured. Had my spinal cord been damaged at the C2 level I would not only have been a quad, but the injury would have restricted some of my ability to breath, meaning I would have been on a respirator.
Originally I was only supposed to be at Craig for two months, 60 days. But having a broken neck slowed things down. It was going to be closer to three months before I'd see home again.
Fortunately, I had some company. I resisted at first but eventually I made some great friends. We were a weird bunch, and all injured differently. I have to say that I would not remember my rigorous time in the hospital so fondly if it weren't for them.
-
As I close my post today I would like to mention once again that I thank you all for supporting my efforts here. Please share this with as many people as possible, especially those that may have been recently injured.
Also, I encourage you to ask questions and leave comments. Ask anything. If it's too personal, which I doubt it will be, leave a method for me to contact you privately, and I will do so.
Also also, there should be a space towards the bottom of this page that allows to you subscribe to this blog. Enter your email address and you will receive emails when I update. This will also provide another method of spreading the word.
All in all the experience was disorienting.
From the day I arrived at Craig my memories became much clearer. In order to make sure if my injury was complete or incomplete they had to test if I could feel all over my body. In order to do this, they touched a feather and poked a small needle literally all over my body. The result was that I couldn't feel the feather at all. But I could feel the needle... in places.
That was it. Just the tiniest pinprick. It was enough. It meant that my spinal cord was NOT severed. It meant that there was a chance I could walk.
Spinal cords are very VERY complicated. My injury was just a bruise, but spinal cords don't heal quickly, or even sometimes at all. The fact that I am not walking today means that my spinal cord is still bruised. There's a damaged portion that prevents all of the information from passing through my nerves.
Craig itself is divided into three floors. The first floor is all outpatient. The second is specifically closed-head injuries. The third is for spinal cord injuries. Even among those of us on the third floor there are two groups: Paraplegics and Quadriplegics.
Remember on my second post I said that I had broken my neck as well? Well that was discovered after I had another set of x-rays and the like once I got to Craig. Nurses and techs came rushing in while I was doing some preliminary physical therapy and told me to stop moving and lay perfectly still. Apparently it was a small miracle that I hadn't been more injured. Had my spinal cord been damaged at the C2 level I would not only have been a quad, but the injury would have restricted some of my ability to breath, meaning I would have been on a respirator.
Originally I was only supposed to be at Craig for two months, 60 days. But having a broken neck slowed things down. It was going to be closer to three months before I'd see home again.
Fortunately, I had some company. I resisted at first but eventually I made some great friends. We were a weird bunch, and all injured differently. I have to say that I would not remember my rigorous time in the hospital so fondly if it weren't for them.
-
As I close my post today I would like to mention once again that I thank you all for supporting my efforts here. Please share this with as many people as possible, especially those that may have been recently injured.
Also, I encourage you to ask questions and leave comments. Ask anything. If it's too personal, which I doubt it will be, leave a method for me to contact you privately, and I will do so.
Also also, there should be a space towards the bottom of this page that allows to you subscribe to this blog. Enter your email address and you will receive emails when I update. This will also provide another method of spreading the word.
Thursday, May 1, 2014
"If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God." James 1:5
On January 10, 2004 my dad and I flew out on a very small plane to Denver, Colorado. We rode by ambulance to Craig Hospital once we landed. I remember the man driving the ambulance, knowing I was going to Craig for rehab, saying "You're in the army now."
This is the reputation Craig has. And it is a fitting one.
Everyone leaves Craig feeling one of two ways. They either loved it or hated it. Their feelings were based on exactly one thing: whether they went there expecting to be fully healed and walk away, or if they went there to get better.
This may seem like an arbitrary difference, but I promise you that it is not. The fundamental difference is acceptance. Acceptance that your life has changed. Not for the worse, but definitely it is different.
I won't deny that I wasn't the happiest when I arrived there. That was probably due primarily to the fact that I was very sick. I lost somewhere in the neighborhood of 31 pounds in those ten days I was still in Tulsa. Due to the pain, medication, surgeries, and massive trauma my body had absorbed I had no appetite. I wouldn't eat. The result was that I went from somewhere around 150lbs to 119lbs. And at around 6 foot that made me scary skinny.
But the purpose of Craig, while doing the best they can to heal your injuries, is to make sure that when you leave their care you will be able to live independently.
Possibly my earliest memory after my accident is a very shaky recollection of telling my mom, "I didn't think it would be permanent." I was talking about my paralysis. I don't remember really understanding all that it would mean... but somehow in those ten days I had already accepted what had happened to me.
Let me make something clear. I did not give up. There have been many times over the last ten years that I have prayed fervently for complete healing. I want to help my wife by mowing the lawn, doing more of the house work, planting a garden, walking our dogs. I want to be able to do things that a grown man, a married man, wants to do for his family and household. But I can't do all those things. Fortunately, my wife is a wonderful, sweet, devoted woman who has never once made me feel sorry for myself for being unable to help her as much as I would like.
There are other things. I miss hiking. I'm an Eagle Scout and lover backpacking. I'm going to be sad when I can't play with our children someday when they exist by tossing them up high and catching them as all fathers do.
But despite knowing these things on a conscious and unconscious level very early in my accident I never dwelt on them. I had no time. I was very truly in a boot camp type scenario. From day one my doctor asked me "What are your goals?" The only one I remember specifically mentioning was that I didn't want to have a bag of pee hanging off of my leg all the time. I accomplished that goal... or at least Craig helped me understand that it was.
No I did not give up. I could and can still do many of my favorite things.
So Craig was the right place for me. I had the right attitude and the gumption, once healed and healthy enough, to get stronger again.
It was a rough three months, no doubt.
But I needed to be tempered.
-
Reference: The above image was copied from Craig Hospital's homepage.
Everyone leaves Craig feeling one of two ways. They either loved it or hated it. Their feelings were based on exactly one thing: whether they went there expecting to be fully healed and walk away, or if they went there to get better.
This may seem like an arbitrary difference, but I promise you that it is not. The fundamental difference is acceptance. Acceptance that your life has changed. Not for the worse, but definitely it is different.
I won't deny that I wasn't the happiest when I arrived there. That was probably due primarily to the fact that I was very sick. I lost somewhere in the neighborhood of 31 pounds in those ten days I was still in Tulsa. Due to the pain, medication, surgeries, and massive trauma my body had absorbed I had no appetite. I wouldn't eat. The result was that I went from somewhere around 150lbs to 119lbs. And at around 6 foot that made me scary skinny.
But the purpose of Craig, while doing the best they can to heal your injuries, is to make sure that when you leave their care you will be able to live independently.
Possibly my earliest memory after my accident is a very shaky recollection of telling my mom, "I didn't think it would be permanent." I was talking about my paralysis. I don't remember really understanding all that it would mean... but somehow in those ten days I had already accepted what had happened to me.
Let me make something clear. I did not give up. There have been many times over the last ten years that I have prayed fervently for complete healing. I want to help my wife by mowing the lawn, doing more of the house work, planting a garden, walking our dogs. I want to be able to do things that a grown man, a married man, wants to do for his family and household. But I can't do all those things. Fortunately, my wife is a wonderful, sweet, devoted woman who has never once made me feel sorry for myself for being unable to help her as much as I would like.
There are other things. I miss hiking. I'm an Eagle Scout and lover backpacking. I'm going to be sad when I can't play with our children someday when they exist by tossing them up high and catching them as all fathers do.
But despite knowing these things on a conscious and unconscious level very early in my accident I never dwelt on them. I had no time. I was very truly in a boot camp type scenario. From day one my doctor asked me "What are your goals?" The only one I remember specifically mentioning was that I didn't want to have a bag of pee hanging off of my leg all the time. I accomplished that goal... or at least Craig helped me understand that it was.
No I did not give up. I could and can still do many of my favorite things.
So Craig was the right place for me. I had the right attitude and the gumption, once healed and healthy enough, to get stronger again.
It was a rough three months, no doubt.
But I needed to be tempered.
-
Reference: The above image was copied from Craig Hospital's homepage.
Wednesday, April 30, 2014
"For I know the plans I have for you." Jeremiah 29:11
I realize that in order to get people interested in reading something, it needs to be updated often, at least in the beginning. Once you have finished reading this post please share it however you can. Here's some of my back story:
On January 2, 2004 I picked up from her home my then girlfriend, Kirsten, to go see a movie. It was a Saturday afternoon around 1:00 p.m. and the weather was beautiful. I wasn't speeding. We were both wearing our seat belts.
The only thing I remember from that day are the beads that were hanging in the doorway to her room. I know that this memory is from that morning because they were a Christmas gift and I had not been to her home since she got them.
You see, severe injuries, trauma, and copious amounts of pain killers do things to the memory. I remember only those beads from that day. Not the accident. Not what caused it. Nothing.
She doesn't remember it either. And no one saw the actual event. The people who called 911 only saw my car as it was settling back onto it's wheels.
But, based on the damage and skid marks I know some things.
While approaching the on ramp to the highway I swerved and then over corrected. This caused my car to flip. As it flipped over we hit a sign on the side of the highway. These signs are supposed to breakaway so as not to cause even more damage. This one didn't. Because of the sign the roof over our heads collapsed in on us.
Our injuries were as follows: she had part of her ear torn off, the nerves in her right arm injured, and her right knee hurt. She has recovered from these injuries through intense physical therapy and several surgeries.
My skull cracked along my right eye socket (I almost lost that eye), my collarbone broke, so did two... maybe three (can't remember) ribs, also I broke three vertebrae in my spine. As I said in my first post T3-4 broke, but I also broke C2. That's in the neck. I also had a lot of cuts on my face, arms, and hands.
When my vertebrae broke the bits of bone collided with my spinal cord; bruising it. When my skull cracked, the fluid in my skull all rushed to the left, damaging that ear. I am hard of hearing in that ear because of it; though it's not bad enough to effect me unless I'm in a noisy area or trying to use that ear on the phone.
We were transported to Saint Francis hospital where we both received treatment. I suppose the x-rays of my neck didn't look too bad because they didn't stabilize my neck at all. I underwent surgery to implant titanium rods along my spine to protect my spinal cord and stabilize the vertebrae.
For the next eight days I underwent surgery and was monitored. During that time I was surrounded by my friends, family, and virtually everyone who knew our family and was within driving distance. Though my memories of those days are very scattered, I do remember fragments of dreams, people visiting me, and conversations I had with them. I am grateful to everyone who came out, not because they came to see but because they came for my family as well. I was being well cared for, my immediate family were the ones that really needed comfort.
During those eight days several of my friends and family did research on the best hospitals for spinal cord injury rehabilitation. The answer was pretty unanimous: Craig Hospital in Denver, CO. Luckily at this point they thought my injury was complete (That is, severed spinal cord, extremely small chance of recovery.) I say "luckily" because had they known my injury was incomplete then I would not have been admitted into Craig to participate in an experimental procedure to transplant nerves from the leg on to the damaged part of the spinal cord. It was only once I got there that we discovered my injury was not complete. But I had gotten in and they weren't going to turn me away.
You can see how the Lord protected and blessed me. It could have been terrible weather, thus making it less likely that someone would have stopped to help us. That sign could have given away, had it done so, we would have rolled down a hill and I'm sure incurred much worse injuries. They might have discovered how badly my neck was broken and for some reasons forbidden me from flying to Colorado so soon after my injury. Craig only accepts people whose injuries are less than two weeks old for their studies. I could have not gotten in to Craig... which, for all intents and purposes was the biggest saving grace of all.
Clearly, God had a plan.
On January 2, 2004 I picked up from her home my then girlfriend, Kirsten, to go see a movie. It was a Saturday afternoon around 1:00 p.m. and the weather was beautiful. I wasn't speeding. We were both wearing our seat belts.
The only thing I remember from that day are the beads that were hanging in the doorway to her room. I know that this memory is from that morning because they were a Christmas gift and I had not been to her home since she got them.
You see, severe injuries, trauma, and copious amounts of pain killers do things to the memory. I remember only those beads from that day. Not the accident. Not what caused it. Nothing.
She doesn't remember it either. And no one saw the actual event. The people who called 911 only saw my car as it was settling back onto it's wheels.
But, based on the damage and skid marks I know some things.
While approaching the on ramp to the highway I swerved and then over corrected. This caused my car to flip. As it flipped over we hit a sign on the side of the highway. These signs are supposed to breakaway so as not to cause even more damage. This one didn't. Because of the sign the roof over our heads collapsed in on us.
Our injuries were as follows: she had part of her ear torn off, the nerves in her right arm injured, and her right knee hurt. She has recovered from these injuries through intense physical therapy and several surgeries.
My skull cracked along my right eye socket (I almost lost that eye), my collarbone broke, so did two... maybe three (can't remember) ribs, also I broke three vertebrae in my spine. As I said in my first post T3-4 broke, but I also broke C2. That's in the neck. I also had a lot of cuts on my face, arms, and hands.
When my vertebrae broke the bits of bone collided with my spinal cord; bruising it. When my skull cracked, the fluid in my skull all rushed to the left, damaging that ear. I am hard of hearing in that ear because of it; though it's not bad enough to effect me unless I'm in a noisy area or trying to use that ear on the phone.
We were transported to Saint Francis hospital where we both received treatment. I suppose the x-rays of my neck didn't look too bad because they didn't stabilize my neck at all. I underwent surgery to implant titanium rods along my spine to protect my spinal cord and stabilize the vertebrae.
For the next eight days I underwent surgery and was monitored. During that time I was surrounded by my friends, family, and virtually everyone who knew our family and was within driving distance. Though my memories of those days are very scattered, I do remember fragments of dreams, people visiting me, and conversations I had with them. I am grateful to everyone who came out, not because they came to see but because they came for my family as well. I was being well cared for, my immediate family were the ones that really needed comfort.
During those eight days several of my friends and family did research on the best hospitals for spinal cord injury rehabilitation. The answer was pretty unanimous: Craig Hospital in Denver, CO. Luckily at this point they thought my injury was complete (That is, severed spinal cord, extremely small chance of recovery.) I say "luckily" because had they known my injury was incomplete then I would not have been admitted into Craig to participate in an experimental procedure to transplant nerves from the leg on to the damaged part of the spinal cord. It was only once I got there that we discovered my injury was not complete. But I had gotten in and they weren't going to turn me away.
You can see how the Lord protected and blessed me. It could have been terrible weather, thus making it less likely that someone would have stopped to help us. That sign could have given away, had it done so, we would have rolled down a hill and I'm sure incurred much worse injuries. They might have discovered how badly my neck was broken and for some reasons forbidden me from flying to Colorado so soon after my injury. Craig only accepts people whose injuries are less than two weeks old for their studies. I could have not gotten in to Craig... which, for all intents and purposes was the biggest saving grace of all.
Clearly, God had a plan.
Tuesday, April 29, 2014
"But you, Lord, are a shield around me" Psalm 3:3
This first, initial post, serves several purposes. Firstly, to let anyone and everyone who is interested in reading it know that it exists. Second, to explain my reasons for writing it.
I am a paraplegic. My spinal cord is damaged at the T3 and T4 levels.
What does that mean? It means that I cannot use any muscles from my chest down. Yes, any. Toes, feet, legs, abs, etc.
The accident that caused my injury happened on January 2, 2004.
Since then I have experienced the full breadth of reactions. From childlike wonder to prideful arrogance. I will tell my story from the beginning, as well as I remember it, and then continue to relate my thoughts, concerns, and wishes about my situation.
Now there comes the matter of you who are reading this. I have two favors to ask of you. The first is that I would like you to tell others about it. The main purpose of this blog is to educate people about what it is like to live with a physical disability. The only way that situations can get better is by educating people about it. So please, share this with anyone and everyone you know.
The second favor I would like to ask of you is to hold me accountable to maintaining this blog. I tend to forget to do things and this is something I feel that God has led me to do. Please help me to continue it.
That's all for now.
God speed my friends!
References:
The image was borrowed from http://inspiredsciforum.com/thread/939/thoracic-herniated-disc.
I am a paraplegic. My spinal cord is damaged at the T3 and T4 levels.
What does that mean? It means that I cannot use any muscles from my chest down. Yes, any. Toes, feet, legs, abs, etc.
The accident that caused my injury happened on January 2, 2004.
Since then I have experienced the full breadth of reactions. From childlike wonder to prideful arrogance. I will tell my story from the beginning, as well as I remember it, and then continue to relate my thoughts, concerns, and wishes about my situation.
Now there comes the matter of you who are reading this. I have two favors to ask of you. The first is that I would like you to tell others about it. The main purpose of this blog is to educate people about what it is like to live with a physical disability. The only way that situations can get better is by educating people about it. So please, share this with anyone and everyone you know.
The second favor I would like to ask of you is to hold me accountable to maintaining this blog. I tend to forget to do things and this is something I feel that God has led me to do. Please help me to continue it.
That's all for now.
God speed my friends!
References:
The image was borrowed from http://inspiredsciforum.com/thread/939/thoracic-herniated-disc.
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