"If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God." James 1:5

On January 10, 2004 my dad and I flew out on a very small plane to Denver, Colorado.  We rode by ambulance to Craig Hospital once we landed.  I remember the man driving the ambulance, knowing I was going to Craig for rehab, saying "You're in the army now."

This is the reputation Craig has.  And it is a fitting one.

Everyone leaves Craig feeling one of two ways.  They either loved it or hated it.  Their feelings were based on exactly one thing: whether they went there expecting to be fully healed and walk away, or if they went there to get better.

This may seem like an arbitrary difference, but I promise you that it is not.  The fundamental difference is acceptance.  Acceptance that your life has changed.  Not for the worse, but definitely it is different. 

I won't deny that I wasn't the happiest when I arrived there.  That was probably due primarily to the fact that I was very sick.  I lost somewhere in the neighborhood of 31 pounds in those ten days I was still in Tulsa.  Due to the pain, medication, surgeries, and massive trauma my body had absorbed I had no appetite.  I wouldn't eat.  The result was that I went from somewhere around 150lbs to 119lbs.  And at around 6 foot that made me scary skinny. 

But the purpose of Craig, while doing the best they can to heal your injuries, is to make sure that when you leave their care you will be able to live independently. 

Possibly my earliest memory after my accident is a very shaky recollection of telling my mom, "I didn't think it would be permanent."  I was talking about my paralysis.  I don't remember really understanding all that it would mean... but somehow in those ten days I had already accepted what had happened to me. 

Let me make something clear.  I did not give up.  There have been many times over the last ten years that I have prayed fervently for complete healing.  I want to help my wife by mowing the lawn, doing more of the house work, planting a garden, walking our dogs.  I want to be able to do things that a grown man, a married man, wants to do for his family and household.  But I can't do all those things.  Fortunately, my wife is a wonderful, sweet, devoted woman who has never once made me feel sorry for myself for being unable to help her as much as I would like. 

There are other things.  I miss hiking.  I'm an Eagle Scout and lover backpacking.  I'm going to be sad when I can't play with our children someday when they exist by tossing them up high and catching them as all fathers do. 

But despite knowing these things on a conscious and unconscious level very early in my accident I never dwelt on them.  I had no time.  I was very truly in a boot camp type scenario.  From day one my doctor asked me "What are your goals?" The only one I remember specifically mentioning was that I didn't want to have a bag of pee hanging off of my leg all the time.  I accomplished that goal... or at least Craig helped me understand that it was. 

No I did not give up.  I could and can still do many of my favorite things. 

So Craig was the right place for me.  I had the right attitude and the gumption, once healed and healthy enough, to get stronger again. 

It was a rough three months, no doubt. 

But I needed to be tempered.

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Reference: The above image was copied from Craig Hospital's homepage.